We Tried Honesty in Politics for 12 Hours. Here’s Why Civilization Collapsed

It all started as an innocent experiment. Twelve hours. Just twelve hours of pure, unfiltered honesty in politics. No spin. No dog whistles. No carefully curated facial expressions that say, “I care about you” while simultaneously plotting your lifelong economic ruin. Surely twelve hours of honesty couldn’t hurt anyone.

Oh, how wrong we were.

Hour 0–1: The Enthusiasm Phase

At first, things seemed promising. Politicians took the podiums, microphones were sanitized, and an air of optimism floated over the capitol buildings. Senator Higgins smiled and said, “Look, I have no idea what I’m doing, but I hope it looks like I do.” The crowd erupted into applause.

It was inspiring. People actually laughed. We thought, maybe, just maybe, honesty could work.

Hour 2–3: The Budget Confessionocalypse

Then came the budget hearings. Representatives stood up and said things like:

• “Yes, that bridge collapsed. Probably because we spent the money on a commemorative statue of my campaign mascot.”

• “Healthcare? Yeah, we don’t really have a plan. We were hoping you wouldn’t notice.”

• “Education funding? Let’s be honest—we mostly just give grants to our kids’ schools.”

Auditors fainted. Economists spontaneously combusted. The Dow Jones experienced what can only be described as a collective existential panic attack.

Hour 4–5: Lobbyist Transparency Hour

Lobbyists were next. They approached politicians with their usual subtlety and were met with brutal honesty.

• “We’ll take your $10,000 to pass a bill. Yes, we’re a gas company. No, we don’t care about climate change. We just like money.”

• “Your constituents want new roads? Sorry, we’ve allocated all funds to scented candle research. Don’t worry, it’s for your own safety.”

At this point, the press stopped calling it “news” and started calling it “apocalyptic theater.”

Hour 6–7: Foreign Policy, Brutally Honest Edition

Foreign diplomats were invited to a meeting. They were told:

• “Yes, we spy on you constantly. Yes, you spy on us. Isn’t diplomacy fun?”

• “War? Probably. We like to keep things spicy.”

• “Peace talks? Sure, but only if you buy us coffee first.”

Within minutes, a global incident occurred. One ambassador spilled their latte in shock. The United Nations issued a statement that read, simply: “We’re out.”

Hour 8–9: The Campaign Promises Debacle

Election season is normally the time for vague, hopeful rhetoric. Not today. Politicians stood before their constituents and said:

• “We promise nothing. Seriously, we have no control over anything, and probably never have.”

• “Taxes? Just take all of it. We’re tired.”

• “Free college? Sure, if you can figure out how to make the money appear out of thin air. Good luck.”

Town halls dissolved into chaos. People cried, laughed, and argued simultaneously—emotions previously thought incompatible.

Hour 10–11: The Social Media Meltdown

As honesty swept through tweets, posts, and TikTok livestreams, social media users were confronted with the terrifying truth: politicians are just…people. Imperfect, lazy, self-interested people who sometimes do things that make sense and sometimes make zero sense.

Hashtags like #HonestyIsOverrated and #CivilizationCollapsing began trending worldwide. Memes featuring crying world leaders were created and immediately shared by every country involved.

Hour 12: Civilization Collapses

By hour twelve, society had effectively ended. Stock markets were replaced by a system of rock-paper-scissors trading. Congress passed a law declaring naps mandatory. Netflix had to air instructional videos on how to use a door handle because no one remembered basic human skills anymore.

Historians later called it “The Great Honesty Implosion.” Archaeologists will one day dig up tiny statues of politicians holding signs that read, “I have no idea what I’m doing, and neither do you,” and weep quietly into their biodegradable lunchboxes.

Conclusion: Lessons Learned

We learned some valuable things in those twelve short hours:

1. Honesty is terrifying.

2. Humans crave illusion.

3. Civilization is basically a polite lie held together by collective agreement.

Would we try it again? Absolutely not. But if we did, maybe we’d start with just five minutes of honesty and see if anyone notices.

Until then, we’ll continue pretending politicians have all the answers, because it turns out, that illusion is the only thing holding civilization together.